Grief is profound feelings of sorrow, sadness, pain, heartache, torment and despair.
Individuals all grieve differently. Some talk with loved ones who may be experiencing similar feelings. Others are very private in their grief.
People experience degrees of intensity when grieving, and there are different stages of grief. When it affects daily functioning for an extended period of time and/or life seems to have lost all meaning, then therapy would be very helpful.
Whatever the case, there are many ways to treat grief through story-telling, reminiscent therapy, journaling and talk therapy, to name a few.
I specialize in helping people work through their grief with compassion and understanding. Several major areas of grief are described below: personal, military and parental.
Throughout life, things happen that cause people to experience personal grief. Examples of personal grief include:
- Death of a loved one
- Pet loss
- Loss of limb
- Life-threatening health
- Financial loss
- Loss of home or business
- Loss of friendship
- Catastrophic events
I love helping folks find their way out of the misery by learning to accept their loss, and start living again. It doesn’t mean that the person or situation will be forgotten. It means that the sadness becomes more tolerable, you find purpose and, eventually, you can laugh again.
Military grief may be different than personal grief. When a soldier goes to war, he/she often suffers the effects that this unique experience creates.
The soldier may be grieving over missing a child’s birth or children’s birthdays, first day of school, anniversary, holiday celebrations and family events.
Some sorrows of course, are much more painful than others. Examples may include:
- Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
- Moral Injury
- Loss of limb
- Loss of battle buddy
- Early discharge
When the soldier returns from deployment he or she may feel isolated, alone, alienated and uncertain about how to live in the civilian world. “How do I get along and fit into my family structure again? Will my children remember me? Will my partner still love me, or I them?”
These issues create anxiety for those waiting at home. Often the loved one(s) at home feel and think that their soldier isn’t the same person that left.
Unfortunately, this situation often can lead to anger, sorrow and divorce. The warrior and his/her family are left feeling so much pain and confusion. Again, I can help you deal with these issues.
Moral injury occurs when a warrior experiences an act of perceived moral transgression that produces profound emotional shame and guilt. A fairly new concept, moral injury differs from PTSD but can exist along with it. It has caused tremendous pain, intolerable guilt and shame that affects quality of life, often resulting in isolation and suicide.
Service members face psychological damage when their actions in battle contradict their moral beliefs. An example of this is being told by command to do something contrary to their personal beliefs and values, yet they are unable to question the decision.
Soldiers are expected to “man up,” grin and bear it” and “be resilient,”sweeping it under the rug” and NEVER question authority for the “greater good.” Our warriors fear that, if they express their situation, thoughts and actions, they will be judged harshly, being labeled crazy, evil or liars, etc. THERE IS HELP.
I have spent 6 incredible years at military bases across the country, providing counseling to our warriors and/or family members. I was embedded in brigades, squadrons, MAGs. I have heard spouses and loved ones of returning warriors say, “my soldier is not the same person he/she was before they were deployed.” He/she won’t talk about it, and I don’t know what to do.” They want to be alone a lot, or just want to hang out with their military friends.
When the loved one comes to therapy, with or without their warrior, I can help them better understand what their warrior is going through. The information has helped them let go of some of their resentment and hurt.
When we have children, most of us picture a healthy child who will grow up, go to college and live a happy, healthy life. It is often not the case. When our children are diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses, learning disabilities or the effects of divorce or death, parents often don’t know what to do.
Our hopes and dreams for our kids may dissolve into fear, sorrow and even guilt. Addiction can become a maladaptive behavior when we deny the grief that comes with these situations.
In turn, this further affects the functioning and coping skills for all concerned. This is the for professional help so you can get back on track and care for yourselves and your children.
I am here to help you. To discuss grief counseling, contact June Taylor